Rejection, the Self-Battle

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personal-headshots_midlife-haircutBy “My Midlife,” I’ve seen battles first-hand both to me and others around me. But one very strong and horrific battle that is hard to get over is rejection. It’s not only a battle in the outside world, but a self-battle. Almost like a self-inflicted wound. Though it starts elsewhere, we continue the battle inside of us over and over, until it’s made right or we move onto something else. Though that evil taste of rejection is always in the back of our minds.

A truth I’ve heard over and over in my life. I’m not so sure who told me, but I do always keep it in the back of my mind, “You can’t be everything to everyone.” But rejection still hurts as it hits the core of our being.

It’s a personal battle that no one prepares us for. Rejection, do you ever get used to it? I often think about the concept of adoption. When I examine things, I examine all aspects. Yes, you are enabling a child to live, opposite of abortion. However, when that child moves on and grows into a new family, what happens when they find out they were originally from other parents. The rejection that they must feel. Do they ever get past that? It would probably depend on their alternative life offered to them.

What about rejection in a relationship – those that break our hearts when friends move away, dating situations that didn’t work out or divorce? What do we do with that rejection? Ultimately people are turning people down because they’re not up to par for their situation in a relationship they want to continue. What do you do in that situation? As a Christian, I’ve learned and am continuously growing in the skill of forgiveness. I’ve been taught that you don’t have to confront the person you need to forgive, but forgive them in your heart. Now this is not an easy task and much prayer, positive self-talk and love for oneself can assist in getting through this life trial.

And what do we do when challenged and then rejected for our personal traits need it be the way in which we do things, our skills and talents or the way we look. The one thing I learned at a young age is people can be harsh. Not sure why acceptance is such a big deal, but it is. Even in the area of science. In a flock, you see even a weak sick bird stay strong until the end so as to not be rejected by its family for not being up to par. In this sense, it’s a survival mode. Is that the same for people?

What do we do in rejection mode? By “My Midlife,” you would think it would get easier. It doesn’t. I have a good cry, question who I am, the way I’m made, my skills and talents and then reevaluate a new plan to use that rejection for me to get back on a positive road to success.

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